


illusion / Atsumu Miya

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: Haikyuu Month, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Other, Sad Miya Atsumu, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:29:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Love never dies. A natural Death, it dies of blindness, errors, and betrayals
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Reader
Kudos: 6
Collections: Miya twins





	1. it was the type of love that would destroy just as easily as save

It's been 4 years since I've seen you and listened to your piano melodies. Having to wake up every day to your sweet notes and sweet voice. How I miss when you hold onto my shirt every time we kiss, or when you'd ask me for more kisses.

I regret everything I did to you; it's true when they say ‘you don't realize what you had until you lose them’. I never cherished the little time we had; Whenever I came from practice and wanted to be alone, you were always so understanding but I know now how all my distance killed you inside little by little.

I never paid attention to you when you were craving my touch or when you needed a little boost in your upsetting days, or even when I knew you needed me; I would ignore your cries for help.

Every step of the relationship you never complained about how I treated you, you knew it was bad and toxic but you still stayed, you stayed to the very end of all of it.

Sometimes I imagine you waking me up from this nightmare and telling me everything's okay and that you are here to stay and not to leave.

Our relationship was everything to you, you always put more than your half, while I would put the bare minimum. Sometimes I would question your loyalty. Me? out of all people questioning you? Why did you stay that long was it for the publicity or did you actually love me…

“I love you ‘tsumu “

Do you still love me after what I did to you?

Because I still love you, I can't stop thinking about you, even after 4 years.

I still ask around about you, I still want to be a part of your life as a lover.

I heard you became an official piano player for big events, I mean who wouldn't fall for those beautiful melodies you play, those beautiful eyes you have, or that smile.

Your smile.

The first thing I fell for when I first saw you.

Then was your personality.

And then you.


	2. how strange to dream of you even when I am wide awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you still live in the silences between my thoughts

I hate not being next to you, sometimes I wake up and pat the space next to me to find it empty. I crave your touch. Your skin. Your beautiful voice. Everything.

Do you still crave my touch?

I thought that everything would be normal when you left, I thought I wouldn't feel anything, or even miss you.

I guess I was wrong, right?

I went to the grocery store today, everything reminds me of you; even the simplest activities, boring or not, you'd always make it enjoyable. 

Being with you was a fairytale dream that I never paid attention to, a dream that you forget about but only remember some parts of the plot although not all of it

When you left I was a mess and still am, I stayed home, I would drink, and was so heartbroken; the only thing I could remember in those days was your voice, remembering all the chances you gave me and all the warnings you set for me; I should have cleaned my act and stopped acting like a child and own up to my mistakes 

So I could have been the man you always dreamed of.

Even with you gone I still get your favorite candy, dessert, and meal. You never really cared about high-quality things nor did you care if something was unlikeable. You were always so grateful for all of the gifts I gave to you.

It was so cute; I remember I gave you this rock I found at a lake, it was all covered in algae and it was all sticky but you didn't mind, you thanked me and that whole day

your face glowed like stars

Even with the ugliest and smallest gifts, your heart would just pump adrenalin 

Instead of seeing this as a warning 

I saw this as you finally getting off my back, and letting me breathe for a little 

And this came to be a regular thing I would do to you

I would give you a gift small or big

Let you obsess over it 

And could always replace it with a new one

  
  



	3. we loved each other for years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish you never learned to fly

I hide everything from you, even now I don't want to admit what I did, it was just horrible and cruel; I still remember your face when everything unwrapped, you were in denial and confused, about how this could be possible 

How after all these years of high school, going to college, and going to all of his games that

I have a child and I am married

“This changes everything” 

The pain in your voice and yes everything really did change, your eyes turned into hatred and anger; I didn't care although the most important thing I was worried about at the moment was 

“Why were you looking through my stuff in the first place” your face was frozen and just shocked 

Everything fits into place now, you know why he was always denying your requests on 

‘settling down’ or wanting to live together so both of you could spend more time together

Everything just fit together like a puzzle

Why he would spend the most littlest time with you, Why you were the only one making an effort in the relationship, and Why sometimes he would just ignore your calls and messages

You felt so used 

“ After everything we've been through breakups, making up, and even god damn 2 years, all you care about is me going through your stuff; image if I've never found any of those things, I would have never realized how of a jerk you treat people that care about you”

I lost the love of my life that day, over my childish ways 

I should have never kept something like that from you, or even kept many other things that I am even guilty to think about

It's an awful feeling

Yet I would never feel what you were feeling that day

The feeling of betrayal 

Of dishonesty.

In another lifetime, my love, I'll treat you like the man you always dreamed of.

  
  



	4. blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can pull me apart and break my heart

Dear atsumu 

I still love you even after what you've done, and I know it's pathetic but I've never loved someone as I love you; I am so dumb to ever think that you would ever want to be with me or stay with me. I know we weren't meant to be in the first place; in high school, many girls came up to me and would give me their confession letters to give to you, they knew I was your girlfriend but they didn't care, you didn't either; I would tell you how much it made me feel but you would always tell me to ‘ get over it’ or ‘ i can't control them’ i didn't want you to control it I wanted you to tell me that I was the love of your life and that they didn't mean anything to you.

I know my worth and I know someone else in this world would cherish me and care for my needs; maybe they'll be more attractive than you or be more honest and trustworthy 

Sometimes I blame myself, I should’ve had put more effort into us

I don't regret ever falling in love with you, as much as you treated me bad, I still loved you, loved your beauty, and loved your confidence

I hope you find your ways in love

I hope you find your special person and find your soulmate 

I hope you find your lover and be able to cherish them and notice what they really want to say by their actions or body language

Maybe we were ‘ a story that wasn't meant to be’

even after what we've been through I still care about your health and well being 

Please, don't be a stranger 

I love you

By, your lover

‘I love you’ i love you too

‘Cherish them’ i want you

‘Find your lover’ you are my lover

‘ a story that wasn't meant to be’ we can always try again, right?

I guess our story ends here my love.

  
  



End file.
